I'm Back & More Fucked Up

Well I have to apologize to the millions of fans that I have kept hanging, and by millions I mean all 4 of my friends that actually read this bullshit. I wish I had more to tell you but to be totally honest I cant remember a fucking thing from 2011. I have been crazy busy trying to keep my job to fuel my alcoholism and now current drug obsession. Its absolutely amazing to me how brain dead I am. I'm even more amazed at the fact between the hours of 8:30am and 5:00pm I manage to trick people into thinking I'm like a normal person who has her shit together, JOKES ON THEM. Anyway to get this shit rolling I'll tell you a quick little story and call it a day.

Im really bad at timeline type of shit so dont quote me on this but a few months back (it could of been a few weeks i dont fucking know) I hurt my shoulder real damn bad. It happened during a blackout binge one weekend and I'm still suffering the consequences. After multiple shots of liquor to the face and a few rounds of prescription drug roulette I started feeling real sexy. Like Im talking "I know Im rocking this bun and sweatshirt" kind of sexy. Naturally it was time to go to a bar. About 13 Coors Lights later it was back to the house to party. I was having a real good time until everything caught up with me and made me feel a bit sick. I started getting that real sweaty mouth type of feeling where no matter how hard you breathe and as many times as you swallow there is a constant puddle of gross happening. On top of that it was absolutely necessary that I keep one eye closed and the other open. I needed fresh air ASAP. The stone wall outside running along the house was the most perfect spot for me to spend the rest of the night. After a solid couple of hours of sleep I rose with the sun. Still a little buzzed I picked myself up thinking I was on the ground and walked right off the wall slamming my face off the house and knocking myself out. There was a dude outside smoking a cig when all of this happened and he was able to wake me and help me up out of the hole dug out for basement windows. When I came to it was evident my arm was seriously fucked the fuck up. I wont lie I cried like a little bitch. I had to toss it in a sling and let it be because I had no health insurance at the time, MY BAD. Every now and then when I move my arm too quick it hurts like all hell and it will probz be like that forever and that sucks. What I learned from this experience? To never assume your feet are planted on the ground and always look around before taking that first step. 

This was a little entry to get me back into the swing of things and I promise promise promise to write more often. Tomorrow I will be going into extreme detail on how my New Years went and I'll tell you right now it wasnt pretty, not even a little bit.