I am a strong believer in swearing. I swear all the time, its in my nature. Im sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that it wasnt necessarily allowed in my house growing up but I was never punished for it either. As a matter of fact my mother told me my designated swear zone was in my bedroom, and she would often walk by my room and over hear me saying "shit shit shit fuck ass bitch..." etc. I think swearing has actually made me less prone to conflict with others. Well I like to think its the swears that help, but there is always the possibility that I am just a giant pussy.
Now Im not saying I never get in fights, because I do. As many people know I am filled with rage and hate for most everything. The first fight I can remember was on the playground at recess in the first grade. I was with 2 boys and one of them said "now kiss the bride" and slammed the other boys head into mine. It hurt like hell, but instead of tossing a punch his way i called him a "mother fucking asshole likes to suck dick major league jackass" it was something I said often to people as a kid, I thought it was hysterical. Most of the crap I get into is along the lines of being extremely childish.
Back in junior high a few girls asked if I could help them out with another group of girls they were having issues with. I figured what the hell I'll go for kicks. When we arrived at our destination this one chick came flying out of the house with knives. I didnt sign up for that shit so I ran like a bat out of hell screaming my head off. I have never been asked to help out in a fight since.
As I get older I have found myself moving from childish fights to full blown scary shit. An ex boyfriend of mine socked me in the face one night, and I feel like most people would attack the little fucker who punches them, I just screamed a million swears and went to my room. Just recently my girl Helen and I have had a lot of shit hit the fan with some characters in the town we enjoy partying in. This one kid actually told me he was going to stab me, gut me, and kill me. I simply walked away from those words and called it a night. Helen on the other hand doesnt take shit like that, and she will kick your ass, its pretty entertaining. I have actually watched her rip a bitches hair out all while smoking a cig. Shes pretty bad ass, I on the other hand hang back and try to control the situation by asking everyone to calm down and walk away.
Getting to the point of this stupid blog, lastnight I hit a bitch. I had finally snapped. Last call came around at the bar and we were just hanging out outside when two girls started chatting with me. They were very pleasant, introduced themselves and carried a fairly decent conversation. They asked me what my friends name was and when I told them it was Helen the atmosphere changed instantly. Apparently these girls were holding a grudge. A fight broke out almost instantly, and I did my regualr thing asking everyone to cool their jets and lets just keep walking. Then as if in slow motion I looked at this one girl right in the face and thought to myself "shit Amanda this girl just played you like a fool". I remember just looking at her for a while and just getting brutally angry, and then it happened. I punched the idiot right in the face. It had taken 23 years 6 months and 5 days from the day I was born to actually hit someone with force on purpose. That is all, I cant say I enjoyed it but I also didnt hate it. I dont feel bad about it and Im also not proud of it. Whats done is done.
Im currently in my bedroom so...ass asshole nigger slut pussy fuck cunt dick bitch cock whore bullshit cumguzzler fag chink wetback porchmonkey prick junglebunny hooker. That felt good. Maybe that will keep me from punching someone for another 23 years 6 months and 5 days.
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