Baldies

Im hesitant on talking about my Saturday night, but its only fair that I continue to be true to my word and not hold back on anything. I suppose I should actually start by telling you a little bit about Thursday. I went to Bogarts and thats no surprise. For whatever reason I started talking to an older gentleman named Brian. He was 34 years old, bald, and had a bit of a lisp. Other than that he was honestly very nice. We exchanged phone numbers because I am fool, but sadly I havent heard from him since. Womp womp. Friday was a long hair dont care kind of night for me, I went into Boston to go to Howl At The Moon, and barely got a buzz going. Skipping to good the shit...Saturday.

I went into Boston Satuday too to check out my dear friend Kates new apartment. She is doing great by the way, excellent job, nice place, good looks, I really respect the bitch. A few other of my hooligan friends went too, it was looking like we were going to have a great time. After the Bruins game and slamming back 2 giant mugs of Vodka and Crystal Light I decided it was time to really start drinking heavily. We all hit the streets and walked over to The Black Rose. I immediately ordered an irish car bomb and a coors light, I had no time to waste checking out the crowd or anything like that, I meant business. Now I am not racist by any means, I actually get along better with people who arent white. I remember talking to some black guys and making racist comments and having it be totally fine. Come to find out a friend of mine actually went home with one of those dudes that night and that makes me happy. Once I was completely wrecked (my blog) I wandered over to Sissy K's, a fine establishment. Some idiot white kid bought me 2 shots, and this is when I knew my Saturday night was going to end with a black guy.

I took my time and played it cool looking for the perfect man. Then there he was, taller than me, not fat, also not super skinny, and yes, the theme of the weekend, bald. He told me his name was William but I insisted on calling him Brian. He took me by the hand and we snagged a cab to go off for a romantic encounter together. Sitting in the cab with butterflys in my stomach, or the mix of different alcohols wanting to come up onto my lap, I anxiously awaited our arrival to his house. Little did I know he was taking me to Sommerville. From the outside his house looked respectable, inside was another story.

The first thing I remember seeing was a girl passed out cold on the couch in what I assume they try to pass off as their living room. In the back of the house there was a group of 4 guys having what I think was a rap battle. I dont think any of them will be making it in the music industry. William, or Brian as I was calling him, showed me where the bathroom was so I could get my shit together. Once I took a poop I was ready. We climbed 3 flights of stairs to get to his "bedroom" and at this point I was out of breath and just wanted to lay down with an inhaler. When he opened the door I knew I had made a mistake, why I didnt figure this out earlier I dont know. He had a futon mattress on the floor, not a futon, just the mattress to a futon on hard wood floors with a 1980's boombox next to it. I would rather of had him throw a sleeping bag at me and tell me to go sleep on his front stoop. I inhaled deeply and told myself it will be over in no time. I have no answers to why I did what I did that night, and yes I am very ashamed of myself. If it makes it any better I did ask him to leave the room after so I could sleep. When he did I picked up my phone and called everyone I would rather of been with at that moment. Lastnight I heard the voicemail I left my girl Lily and I am pretty sure at one point I started crying. ROFL.

When I opened my eyes after only being asleep for 40 minutes my chocolate lover was next to me sound asleep. I didnt know where the fuck I was and certainly didnt want to wake his ass up. I pulled myself together and got smart. I VZ Navigated my location then googled local cabs and called to have one pick me up. Trying to get out of that shit hole as fast as possible I tripped and fell down all 3 flights of stairs. I have a bruise on my arm, my ass, and a cut on another one of my toes. I waited outside for my cab in complete and utter despair. Once in the cab I started laughing violently at how much of an asshole I am. A) I could of been killed, how was I supposed to know he wasnt a crazy serial killer? and B) Talk about a horrible one night stand.

Anyway I guess you can never really win against the desire for sex. It turns people into idiots. After this little debacle I really think I am going to take the whole lesbian thing more seriously. I have been a bit stand offish to pursuing someone of the same sex, but honestly it has to be better than the shit I get myself into now.