Never Going Home

So Friday ROFL. For whatever reason I forgot to eat that day which is very unlike me. I went to Quincy with my gurlz Meg and Kerry to watch the Bruins win game 7, that was fantastic. I had no right drinking as fast as I did with 0 food in my stomach. After the game we did stumble over to IHOP but at this point it was too late and there was no turning this drunk mess around.

I dont remember much of the ride back to our neck of the woods to spend the rest of the night at our local watering hole The Cellar. Fine establishment. I do remember looking around and seeing about 50 faces I didnt know or really even care to know. While in the bathroom thinking my life was about to end if I didnt throw up there was some chick sitting on the sink with her dress pulled up around her face screaming about how the fat on her thighs should not be billowing out of her underwear. I have no fucking clue how I didnt lose it right then and there. Then she jumped off the sink and instantly started making out with a girl standing next to me and asked if I would like to join. I instantly fell for both of these ladies, but respectfully declined. After going potty I returned to the basement of hell and asked Meg to bring me home. I couldnt handle my surroundings and needed to GTFO. Without finishing my beer (another shocker) I started to head out. Trying very hard to get up the 3 stairs out of the building I took a fucking face plant onto the the cement. The most brutal pain shot through my foot at this moment, afraid to look but knowing I had to, took a peep at my bloody foot.

I remember getting home and seeing a trail of blood through my kitchen but I couldnt deal with it I needed to be in bed. Now I should tell you my Aunt and Uncle were visiting from Florida and staying in the bedroom next to mine. I live with 2 of my cousins both male, and their nieces stay over the house often (and this was one of those nights) Anyway I fell asleep in my 80 degree bedroom fully clothed. However I did wake up at noon the next day ass naked, no covers on me, with my door wide open and not a single person was home. Stumbling downstairs I found my bloody mess was still in the kitchen. I am wondering how long it will take 1 of the 6 family members in the house that morning to call me out on having a severe drinking problem. Somebody had to of seen my perfectly sculpted body that morning and are too impressed to say anything.

All in all it was a pretty typical Friday night.