My reason for composing this is because of a recent sexual encounter I had. I met a boy who is white, speaks english, around the same age as me, and not disfigured. The entire time I was with him it felt wrong and uncomfortable for no real reason at all. When I woke up the next morning and drove his ass home, my life flashed before my eyes and things started to make sense.
I wont deny the fact that I am an awkward individual. The things I say and the life choices I make are a bit out of the ordinary. I find comfort in knowing I have the greatest friends in the entire world who know and understand my odd behavior and still choose to accept me. Which is why I am most certain they had seen this blog coming way before I even considered it.
I most definitely believe I would make an awesome gay person. The main reason is because I take a mean jello shot. Like I am not even kidding when I say I can swipe the jello out with my tongue like nobody else I know. I think I have had "it" (being a huge gay) going on since I was born. As an infant the only way to keep me quiet was to put me down in front of the t.v. while there was a hockey game on. I grew up a tom boy, jeans and a t shirt covered in dirt. Throughout elementary school I had 0 girl friends, I was one of the boys. My first girl crush I can remember happened while watching The Great Outdoors a true masterpiece starring the great John Candy rofl. The girl in the movie, Cammie, played by Lucy Deakins (who also played Milly in The Boy Who Could Fly) stole my heart at a very young age and I have had plenty of girl crushes since then.
Later on in middle and high school I started hanging around more girls and adopting their ways. The first penis I saw was in my junior high school hallway. It was quite scary. As I recall me and the other boy were walking and he told me to "look" so I did and there it was. Soon after that he became my first boyfriend <3 That "relationship" which consisted of 1 movie trip and hand holding only lasted about 2 weeks. I soon became what I consider to be a massive kissing whore. I dont know if the number of dudes I was macking with would be considered a sexual offense or not, but I needed to be stopped. Looking back now I think a lot of it had to do with me just not giving a flying fuck and honestly not being physically or emotionally attracted them. They did nothing for me. There was one fella who kept me interested for almost 5 1/2 years. We were alright together, I enjoyed living with him, and for fucks sake he was hysterical. The major issue in our relationship however was that he was in fact a male.
I've never been with a chick but I have a feeling it would go a lot smoother than most of my bro hook ups. Until that day arrives when I find the right girl I will continue to rock the foreign male scene to ensure I never have to have an actual conversation with someone.
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